a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
