Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
