Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize