Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Randomize
