did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
