There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
