I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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