Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
