My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
