the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
