very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
