i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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