what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
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