Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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