so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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