Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
