i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
