My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
