Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
