My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's never too late to be topless.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
