Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize