then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
