Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
