He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
