Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
