I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
