Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
