Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
meet me or not, i'm out of control
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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