Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Success! We fucked roommates!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
