Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
