So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
