My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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