It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
