Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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