can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
