I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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