when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
