He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My vagina is officially offended.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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