I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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