ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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