ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
