Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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