I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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