The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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