Small penises have feelings too.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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