i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
is wine microwaveable?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
