He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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