You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Someone signed my nipple.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
