butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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