Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
