return my video game
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
