My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
