it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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