this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
