my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
