Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
