I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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