If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
